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Threaded email  John Vasconcellos & David Boulton - Self-Esteem 3
thread order - DB in regular, JV in ALL CAPS, DB again in BLUE CAPS

-----Original Message-----

Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2002 5:17 AM

Subject: Re: FW: Self-esteem - how I think about it

DEAR DAVID - GOOD HEARING FROM YOU -

HERE'S THE KEY OF WHAT YOU WROTE ME THEN: (link to)
'I believe what you mean by the term self-esteem is simply: human nature free
from the self-disesteeming psychological reflexes we learn to modulate our
negative-to-self, feelings and thoughts.
AGREED.

If so, the question becomes how do we create environments in which children
have the opportunity to learn to participate rather than be passengers in
their feelings and thoughts.
- AND/OR HOW DO WE ASSURE EACH CHILD A SET AND SERIES OF RELATIONSHIPS WHICH
ACCEPT AND ENCOURAGE HER/HIM TO APPRECIATE AND TRUST THEMSELVES, IN THEIR
ENTIRETY?

WE CAN ASPIRE TO THIS BUT THE VACCINE HAS TO ASSUME THAT TRY AS WE MIGHT CHILDREN WILL STILL BE EXPOSED - WE CAN'T CONTROL THE RELATIONSHIPS THEY ARE IN - WE CAN HELP THEM DEVELOP THE INNER-LIFE SKILLS TO PROCESS THEIR EXPERIENCES SO AS TO IMMUNIZE THEM (JUST LIKE A VACCINE WORKS FROM THE INSIDE-OUT) TO BE ABLE TO GROW THROUGH THE SHAME RATHER THAN AVOID IT OR DISPLACE IT IN WAYS THAT RESULT IN THE SELF-ASSUMPTIONS THAT ACCUMULATE INTO SELF-DIS-ESTEEM. I KNOW THE NORMAL WISDOM OF PREVENTION AND I THINK IN THIS CASE PREVENTION NEEDS TO BE 2ND ORDER TO LEARNING FROM WITHIN - THE VACCINE.

Getting self-esteem on the map was a huge step for all of us. I congratulate
you again for driving that into happening and for being the champion and hub
of this noble effort to defend the self-esteem movement.'
THANK YOU, DAVID - IT SEEMS TO BE ESCALATING INTO WHAT I HOPE COULD BECOME A
RENEWED NATIONAL FOCUS AND DIALOGUE - - -

I HOPE SO TOO JOHN - THIS IS OUR MOST PRECIOUS CLOSEST OVERLAP AND I WOULD LOVE TO CONTRIBUTE MORE OF MYSELF (AND GARY IS A MASTER IN THIS SPACE) BUT WE HAVE TO GET THE CONVERSATION TO GROUND ITSELF DEEPER IN WHATS HAPPENING TO THE CHILDREN (INSIDE-OUT) RATHER THAN OUTSIDE-IN FROM THE STATS OR PLATITUDES.

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