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Kirk Vandenberghe to David Boulton - Self Esteem 7

Thanks for including me in this thread, DB. I see the nominalization distinction as primary (self-esteem as an object). I *have* observed that we (people) have a network of beliefs about self that can be labeled "self-concept" (self-concepting as process). "Are you an honest person?" "How do you know?" These types of questions will bring forth habitual inner representations about self (and certainly the generalizations will include massive deletion and distortion based on the network of other generalizations). When elicited, the answers can appear to be a generalized thing called "self-esteem" that can be plotted on a continuum of non-existent to high. It may be more generative to have our experience of ourselves be a "natural buoyancy (that) is not based on an internally held inventory of self-reflection" but in the current collective, we have to somehow make meaning of the vast menu of value-based nominalizations (integrity, honesty, kindness, anger). For example, I have my representation of "kindness" and a set of unconsciously selected personal reference experiences of my behavior in relation to the word. Shifting from "I am a kind/unkind person" to "In this specific instance I did some kinding" is a huge jump. I see the second jump from there as being able to experience the whole nominalizing process as unuseful and irrelevant; a system I wouldn't want to use to "rate" myself. Perhaps a child who is raised in an inside out kind of way would have such a strong sense of self that they would simply not be influenced by an other-based shaming expression like "You did/didn't do/have this thought/action so that means you are <nominalization> and will/won't be able to <action>."

I can see why for you children and education are your prime fulcrums; why it's more about having our present moment experience than learning "more, better, different" stuff. Kv

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