Elaine on Article Draft Self Esteem 16

Elaine to Gary and David Re: Defending the Efficacy of Healthy Self-Esteem Self Esteem 16

Appreciated receiving the current draft on the Self-esteem article. Certainly well-written and pretty comprehensive, but where was the "verbiage on shame?" Did I miss something? I think this sensible statement did effectively dispel the idea that there could be any value in defining self-esteem as Emlier and Slater did. I really didn't know what to expect of the article; I take it your "inside-out" view hasn't been assimilated into this ongoing work.

As far as this article went, my views were best represented by the phrases, "being worthy of happiness" (Branden), "trusting ourselves," (p.2) and believing that "we are all deseving of respect, nurturance and happiness." (p.3) Coopersmith's findings that "creating family standards of behavior that are clearly defined and consistently enforced, providing unconditional love and respect, and having high expectations were leading factors in developing high self-esteem" (p.4) are certainly related to the broad definition that was put forth, but I preferred his words from that same book that "Parents (of children with hi self-esteem) are most concerned and accepting of their children and least likely to be severe in their punishment. They may insist on running a tight ship, but they appear merkedly different from parents who are authoritative in practice and character structure." (my emphasis) The difference lies in placing more emphasis on the child than on parental expectations.

The basic beliefs that I feel must be present in any discussion of self-esteem are partially summed up on page 2 when Comenius is cited with the follow-up "We affirm this faithful view of humanity, and believe that through love and nurturance we are all innately inclined to becoming more life-affirming, constructive, responsible and trustworthy," and the closing statement, "And for those who dare, it invites us to examine our most basic beliefs about our essential human nature." And that takes us right back to David's more cogent and concise definition: human nature free from the self-disesteeming psychological reflexes we learn to modulate our negative-to-self, feelings and thoughts.

for all children

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